Following a separation, one of the most significant challenges is establishing a routine that prioritises your child’s wellbeing while minimising parental conflict. To assist with this transition, Cafcass (the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) has introduced “Our Child’s Plan” as the updated framework for parenting agreements in England and Wales.
The transition to this new title reflects a deliberate shift toward a more child-centric philosophy. Rather than focusing solely on “custody” or “access” timetables, the plan is designed to address a child’s holistic needs, wishes, and daily lived experience.
What is Our Child’s Plan?
Our Child’s Plan is a written, voluntary agreement between parents—and occasionally extended family members—detailing how a child will be cared for post-separation. It serves as a structured roadmap to navigate practical complexities, ensuring both parents remain aligned.
Commonly, the plan addresses:
- Living Arrangements: Where the child will reside and the frequency of visits.
- Education and Health: How major decisions regarding schooling and medical care are reached.
- Significant Dates: Arrangements for holidays, birthdays, and religious festivals.
- Future Dispute Resolution: How parents will manage disagreements without returning to court.
According to Cafcass guidance, the primary objective is to keep the “Best Interests of the Child” at the core of every decision, reflecting their evolving maturity and perspective.
Essential Components of an Effective Plan
While every family dynamic is unique, successful plans typically incorporate four key pillars:
1. Living and Practical Routines
The plan should provide a predictable schedule that offers the child a sense of security. This includes weekly school routines, weekend patterns, and specific handover locations. Predictability is often cited as the most critical factor in reducing a child’s anxiety during separation.
2. Digital and Indirect Communication
In the modern age, “time spent” is not limited to physical presence. A robust plan outlines how a child maintains contact with the parent they are not currently with, including:
- Scheduled Video Calls: Agreed times for FaceTime or Zoom.
- Co-Parenting Apps: Utilizing digital tools (such as OurFamilyWizard or AppClose) to share calendars and school reports.
- Emergency Contact: Clear protocols for urgent communication.
3. Shared Parental Responsibility
Under the Children Act 1989, most parents share Parental Responsibility (PR). Your plan should clarify how this is exercised. For instance, it should define who attends parents’ evenings, how passports are held, and how information regarding long-term health needs is disseminated between households.
4. Safety and Conflict Management
If high conflict is a concern, the plan must be explicit. This may involve using neutral handover points (such as a school or a contact centre) and setting clear boundaries on how changes to the schedule should be requested (e.g., via email with 48 hours’ notice).
The Role of Child-Inclusive Mediation
Can children be directly involved in the creation of the plan? In 2026, the answer is increasingly yes.
The Family Mediation Council (FMC) maintains that children aged 10 and over should generally be offered the opportunity to have their voices heard. In Child-Inclusive Mediation, a specially trained mediator meets with the child privately. The goal is not to force the child to “choose” a parent, but to understand their feelings regarding the proposed routine. Often, children provide practical insights that parents may have overlooked.
Is Our Child’s Plan Legally Binding?
It is important to understand that Our Child’s Plan is not a legally binding court order. It is a voluntary “goodwill” agreement.
However, its value cannot be understated. It serves as powerful evidence of a co-parenting commitment. If parents require the arrangements to be legally enforceable, the plan can be used as the basis for a Consent Order. A judge will review the terms and, if they satisfy the “Welfare Checklist,” the court will seal it as a formal Child Arrangements Order.
Practical Considerations for Your Plan
| Topic | Questions Your Plan Should Answer |
| Handovers | Is the location neutral? Who is responsible for transport? |
| Special Days | How are Christmas, Eid, or Mother’s/Father’s Day split? |
| New Partners | At what stage—and how—will new partners be introduced? |
| Flexibility | How much notice is required for a “one-off” swap of days? |
A Working Document: Adapting to Change
A parenting plan is rarely “fixed for life.” As children grow, their needs regarding extracurricular activities, social lives, and education will inevitably shift. Parents are encouraged to review the document annually. If an agreement cannot be reached on updates, a single session of mediation is often sufficient to realign the plan with the child’s current needs.
Final Thought
Our Child’s Plan is more than just a schedule of dates; it is a commitment to collaborative parenting. By reducing ambiguity and focusing on the child’s perspective, it provides a foundation for a stable, two-home family life.