Child Arrangements
Helping separated parents make practical arrangements for their children
When parents separate, deciding where a child lives and how they spend time with each parent can feel overwhelming. Family mediation helps you discuss these issues calmly, focusing on what works best for your children rather than the conflict between adults.
In England and Wales, the court expects parents to consider mediation before starting many private law children cases. By choosing mediation, you keep more control over the decisions that affect your child’s daily life.
What can child arrangements mediation help with?
Every family is different. Mediation helps separated parents create a practical Parenting Plan that reflects their child’s needs and everyday routines.
This can include:
- Living arrangements: Agreeing where your child lives and how time will be shared between two homes.
- Holidays and special days: Planning school holidays, Christmas, Eid, birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and other important occasions in advance.
- Schooling and education: Discussing school choices, homework, school events, clubs, and how important education decisions will be made.
- Handovers: Creating a routine for weekly transitions that feels manageable and stable for your child.
- Communication: Setting clear expectations about how parents will communicate about the child’s needs and future arrangements.
Practice Direction 12B recognises a Parenting Plan as a useful tool to help separated parents work out practical arrangements for their children.
The process in 5 simple steps
- Attend a MIAM: You meet a mediator individually to discuss your situation. Before many private law children applications in England and Wales, attending a MIAM is usually required unless an exemption applies.
- Safety comes first: We consider whether mediation is safe and suitable, including any concerns about domestic abuse, safeguarding, urgency, or serious imbalance between the parties.
- The other parent is invited: If mediation is appropriate and you want to continue, the other parent is invited to attend their own private MIAM.
- Joint mediation sessions begin: You work through the issues step by step. If being in the same room would not work, shuttle mediation (where you remain in separate rooms) may be available.
- A Parenting Plan is prepared: If you reach agreement, the outcome can be recorded in a practical written Parenting Plan for future co-parenting.
What if we do not reach an agreement? If you do not reach a full agreement, mediation can still help narrow the issues and improve communication. If needed, you can then take further legal advice or apply to the court.
Funding your child arrangements mediation
You may not have to pay the full cost yourself.
Family Mediation Voucher Scheme In eligible child-related cases, the government voucher scheme may contribute up to £500 towards mediation.
Legal Aid If you qualify financially, Legal Aid may cover your MIAM and mediation sessions. Notably, if one person qualifies for Legal Aid, the other person’s MIAM and first joint session are also usually covered.
FAQs
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to go to court to sort out child arrangements?
Not always. Many parents reach workable agreements in mediation and record them in a Parenting Plan without asking the court to decide.
What if we cannot agree on everything?
Even partial agreement can help. Mediation often narrows the issues and makes the next step clearer for both parents.
Do I need a Parenting Plan after mediation?
While it is not a legal requirement, a Parenting Plan is highly recommended. It gives both parents a clear reference point and helps reduce the chance of future misunderstandings about the children’s routines.
Can mediation include my child’s wishes and feelings?
In some suitable cases, a specially trained mediator may involve the child in a careful and appropriate way. This only happens when the right safeguards and agreements are in place.
Take the next step
Start planning for your child’s future
You do not have to leave important decisions about your child’s routine until conflict escalates. Mediation gives separated parents a calmer way to discuss arrangements and build a plan that works in real life.