Deciding whether to attend mediation may feel like a personal choice, but in the legal jurisdiction of England and Wales, it is a formal requirement of the litigation process. While you cannot be forced to reach an agreement, you are almost always legally required to consider mediation before a judge will hear your case.
This is managed through a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). It is important to distinguish the MIAM from mediation itself: the MIAM is a private, one-on-one diagnostic meeting with an accredited mediator to determine if your dispute can be settled without a courtroom battle.
Is Mediation Mandatory?
Technically, mediation is voluntary because an agreement cannot be imposed upon you. However, attending a MIAM is mandatory for the person making a court application in most private law children and financial remedy cases.
Under the Family Procedure Rules (FPR) Part 3, the court’s expectation has strengthened significantly. This requirement applies to:
- Child Arrangements Orders: Deciding where a child lives and who they see.
- Financial Remedy Orders: Dividing the family home, pensions, and assets.
- Specific Issue Orders: Resolving disputes over schooling or relocation.
- Prohibited Steps Orders: Preventing a parent from taking a certain action.
The court now views litigation as a last resort. Consequently, a judge will review your efforts to resolve matters through Non-Court Dispute Resolution (NCDR) at every single hearing.
Valid Exemptions: When Can You Skip the MIAM?
You are only permitted to bypass the MIAM if you meet a specific legal exemption. In 2026, these are strictly scrutinized by the court. Common exemptions include:
- Domestic Abuse: Provided you have the necessary prescribed evidence (e.g., police reports, injunctions, or a letter from a frontline support agency).
- Urgency: Where there is a risk of life, liberty, or physical safety, or a risk that assets will be dissipated.
- Child Protection: If a local authority is currently conducting an investigation into the child’s safety.
- Previous Attendance: If you have attended a MIAM on the same issue within the last 4 months.
If you claim an exemption that the court later finds to be invalid, the judge can stay (pause) your proceedings for several weeks and order you to attend a MIAM before the case continues.
Mediation vs. Court: The Strategic Difference
Understanding why the court prioritises mediation helps explain why it is required.
| Feature | Family Mediation | Family Court |
| Who Decides? | You (supported by a neutral mediator) | A Judge (an imposed decision) |
| Confidentiality | Private and “Without Prejudice” | Formal, recorded, and less private |
| Pace | Often resolved in 3–5 sessions | Often takes 12–18 months |
| Cost | Usually £1,000–£2,000 total | Often £15,000–£50,000+ per person |
What Happens if You Refuse to Attend?
Refusing to attend a MIAM without a valid exemption can lead to significant procedural and financial setbacks. In 2026, the court has the power to:
- Refuse to Issue the Application: The court office may reject your paperwork until a MIAM certificate is provided.
- Order a “Stay”: The judge can adjourn your first hearing to allow time for NCDR to be attempted.
- Cost Sanctions: Under Rule 28.3, if a party has “unreasonably” refused to engage in NCDR, the court can order them to pay a portion of the other party’s legal costs.
Financial Support for Mediation
Mediation is often made more accessible through government funding:
- Legal Aid: If you are on a low income or receive certain benefits, the entire process (MIAM and sessions) may be free.
- Family Mediation Voucher Scheme: For disputes involving children, the government provides a £500 contribution towards the cost of mediation sessions (confirmed through March 2026). Note that the voucher does not cover the initial MIAM.
Final Thought
You are not required to settle in mediation, but you are required to show the court that you have made a genuine, good-faith effort to avoid a legal battle. For many in England and Wales, the MIAM is the moment they realise that a faster, cheaper, and more dignified path to resolution is actually possible.